Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
