i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
