you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
