you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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