I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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