guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
