Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
