I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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