You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize