omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
