he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
