i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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