God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
God I need to hump something, right now.
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