i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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