just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
