google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
