Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
