so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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