only if we run a train.
done.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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