Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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