After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It all started with a game of naked twister.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
