pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
