my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
