Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
