Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
