thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
PANTIES FOUND
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