Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
