I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize