Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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