1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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