I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
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