What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
