I can text with my tongue
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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