he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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