would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
