If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Randomize