We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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