Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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