No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I have tasted many bathrooms
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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