Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
