is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
