you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
