hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I met the friendliest cop last night
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
