I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
