paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
