She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
