i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Randomize
