I want to make a zoo with you.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
