I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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