I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
