We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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