So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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