Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
