I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
