I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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