I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
