I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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