I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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