I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
