I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
