and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
