Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
