No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
