Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
