I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
