he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
