His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
